The fear of being known, the hallmark of the shame-based self, stops the sex addict in his or her sobriety tracks. “If anybody really knew me” the voice in the head screams, “they really wouldn’t love me or would leave me.”
The first step in the journey requires fearlessness, the development of resiliency, or in other words, development of the antidote to addictive behavior. This means the sex addict begins to become known and finds strength there.
The shame-based self, developed in a negative early bonding experience, avoids being known at all costs and turns to the compulsive behaviors over and over and over, trying to mediate, medicate, or hide this inner self.
Take the first step. Fear no longer. Tell someone the truth about your sex addiction and find peace.