Don’t all men do it?
Don’t all men look at porn?
First off, I must answer both of these with a resounding no. We live in a society where women are sexualized (and men) and their bodies are treated as sexual objects, so it makes sense that we hold false beliefs about men and women when it comes to healthy sexuality, and unhealthy sexuality.
Visual arousal, in the context of treating sex addiction, is an unhealthy arousal pattern driven through the eyes manifesting in objectification of many different things, including things that are not sexual.
Visual arousal is one of the underlying templates for porn addiction, cybersex addiction, exhibitionism (although different as well) and voyeurism (peeping Tom’s, web cams). Men and women with this unhealthy arousal pattern objectify and sexualize other peoples bodies and body parts.
Visual arousal of course, is also on a continuum of healthy and unhealthy. In terms of courtship, visual arousal comes into healthy use during courtship, in the Noticing, Attraction and Flirtation stages.
A sex addict uses visual arousal in an unhealthy manner as a means to leave reality, medicate uncomfortable feelings and to thwart healthy courtship. Healing sex addiction and unhealthy visual arousal templates are part of the expertise of a certified sex addiction counselor or certified sex addiction therapist.
In a relationship, the sex addict has to learn to have healthy courting with his significant other, rather than turning to porn, peeping, web cams, or the body walking or driving by, for soothing and connection.
Feel free to call and ask us questions so you may begin to heal today.